How 3 letters make a difference

How can 3 letters make such a difference? It’s one little word.

I always loved playing charades when I was a little girl. Trying to get people to guess words or strings of words without speaking. It’s something my parents played with their friends a lot too.  They’d be in their best party clothes - while I took time to sneak into the kitchen to steal - I mean eat -  as many as those bright red sticky (horrible for you) cherries as my little fingers could reach. 

So, here‘s the first clue - the word has 3 letters - starts with a vowel - very common - but I haven’t used it yet!

Which reminds me...

Do you remember the magazine “"Highlights”? (I may totally be giving away my age here!)

I’d love to go through it playing the game where you have to find what’s missing. Or for those a little younger than me, maybe you played, “Where’s Waldo?” The things is - you had to find something or someone who was missing. While this word isn’t missing per se, it’s meaning seems to have gotten lost.

It’s still missing. So let’s get to it. 

It’s the word “AND”. 

It seems these days to be used in articles, social media posts, in bits of conversations to be used to only link similar things or thoughts together. 

“I believe in this point of view AND this is why I’m right.”

But, the world, life, isn’t so cut AND dry, black AND white as we may want it to be. It would be great, well maybe a bit boring too, if things were able to be put in neat little categories like that. For most of us though, life isn’t quite so clear…if it is, then you may be missing out on all the awesome nuances and in-betweeness of life. (Yes, I make up my own words sometimes…you just need to when you need to right word sometimes.)

We don’t hear “and” very often when describing opposites. We hear “but”", “or”, “either”…Yet, opposites can AND do exist all at the same time. When we forget this, we can create so much stress for ourselves. Anxiety is often due to feeling two different ways at the same time when we don’t acknowledge what those feelings are.

Let me point out a few examples.

“I feel happy AND sad that I’m moving.” 

“I like cold AND hot weather because I love the change of seasons.”

“I’m looking forward to the new job AND I’m afraid to leave my old one.”

See what I mean? 

When we deny the AND we can miss out on perspective.

We do this to ourselves a lot. It’s like we can’t reconcile that two different perspectives can co-exist. We see it everywhere we look in today’s world. I’m right, you’re wrong. If you support one political view, you’re totally wrong. No worries - we are not getting into politics here!

Life is all about balance. 

I’m convinced of it.

What happens when we eat too much candy or cheese or ice cream or lettuce for that matter?! We feel sick!

The same holds true in any area of life.

Work too much, you’ll most likely burnout. Play too hard, you’ll probably be sore.

It’s about living your best, healthiest life.

So, we can work AND play. We can feel happy AND sad at the same time. We absolutely can feel two different ways at the same time.

It’s also why I love integrating perspectives into my coaching & counseling approach.

There seems to be a growing divide between holistic health & traditional approaches. I see people arguing about stuff like this all the time. Which one is right?

I’m going to tell you - BOTH.

Let me explain…

In the news, there have been stories about people who’ve gotten very sick, and sadly some died, who’ve used only holistic approaches when it’s come to some pretty serious health issues. 

AND, there’s been some pretty concerning stories about people who’ve gotten horrible side effects or little relief from traditional medicines. 

So, what to do???

How about finding the best  “AND” for you? Bringing a balanced perspective can also apply to therapy. If there was one right answer, one right approach, you’d only find one type of therapy.

The thing is - there isn’t any one answer that’s right for everyone.

That’s what Integrative approaches appeal to me so much.

It’s a win-win!

When we can take the best of both, whatever’s right for us personally, (because we aren’t stamped out at some factory) - I believe, that’s where we can find BALANCE. 

I may need an antibiotic AND use eucalyptus oil. 

I may need to talk it out OUT work with body sensations when I’m anxious. 

It doesn’t have to be either/or - we just need to find space for AND...

Our use of “and” brings balance. Balance leads us much closer to healing. 

And a little balance in every area - from how we interact with each other all the way through how we approach our own health and well-being can help bring healing into this world. .

And with that, I wish you peace, 

Beth

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