Grief & Loss Support
Loss can feel like we can’t catch our breath, our hearts are truly broken, & life doesn’t seem to hold the same meaning. It can happen due to death, or a life transition, and no matter the circumstance, our Grief and Loss Support is here to help.
If you’ve found yourself here because you’ve just experienced a painful loss - first, let us tell you we are sorry.
Grief and loss are times when we can get hit with a tidal wave of emotion - more like a tsunami. It can be difficult to navigate this time when you’re feeling so alone. We grieve and experience loss not only over loved ones who pass away, but we can also experience it when going through any kind of life transition.
Life is a full process of beginnings and endings. In both life and nature, there are times when things move slowly and don’t seem to change very much. Then, suddenly, things can change quickly. Moving from August to September, the weather changes gradually at first, and then it seems that suddenly summer is over. It is the same in our lives; transitions are as natural as the changing seasons. But they can feel so much worse.
Life transitions are challenging because they force us to let go of the familiar and face the future with a feeling of vulnerability. We are never as vulnerable when the finality of a change comes charging into our lives.
Grief and Loss Support can help you cope with the surge of emotional upheaval during times of loss and transition.
Most life transitions can include losses such as:
• The loss of a role
• The loss of a person
• The loss of a place
• The loss of your sense of where you fit in the world
Any significant loss makes most people feel fearful and anxious. Since your future may now be filled with questions, it is normal to feel afraid. We live in a culture that has taught us to be very uncomfortable with uncertainty, so we are anxious when our lives are disrupted. On the positive side, these transitions give us a chance to learn about our strengths and to explore what we really want out of life. This time of reflection can result in a sense of renewal, stability, and a new equilibrium. But, it can be navigate to those places alone.
Why do we include positive changes in the topic of Grief and Loss Support?
A life transition can be positive or negative, planned or unexpected. Some transitions happen without warning, and they may be quite dramatic, as in cases of accidents, death, divorce, job loss, or serious illness. Other life transitions come from positive experiences such as getting married, going away to college, starting a new job, moving to a new city, or giving birth to a child. Even though events like these are usually planned and anticipated, they can be just as life-altering as the unexpected events. Whether positive or negative, life transitions cause us to leave behind the familiar and force us to adjust to new ways of living, at least temporarily. They can leave us feeling completely unprepared and we may be thrown into a personal crisis, feeling shocked, angry, sad, and withdrawn.
Positive changes too can lead us to experience leaving something else behind. Sometimes, when we make choices that we know are good for us, leaving behind the old and familiar can leave us feeling sad about leaving behind the old and familiar. It isn’t always about losing someone or something we know isn’t for our best - it can also be about losing the familiar - “good or bad”.
How do we provide Grief and Loss Support?
We provide you with a safe, non-judgmental space to explore these intense feelings and work alongside you while you meet the oftentimes challenging process of grieving. Holding space means meeting our clients where they are in the process without pushing or adding more pressure. We can help you gain clarity, provide support, and assist you with ways you can begin to move towards a place of resolution.
We have both worked in hospice and health care settings during our career and we understand the pain and feelings of emptiness, loss, confusion, anger, despair and the many emotions that often accompany loss and life transitions. Kevin was the Bereavement Director for a hospice agency for many year, and Beth often facilitated Bereavement Support Groups that often included both sudden and more gradual loss. Beth is certified as a Pet Loss Counselor as well. It’s through experience, sitting with people in that space, that is the greatest teacher - and we have learned a lot.
Will these feelings of Grief and Loss last forever?
We want you to know, there are some predictable stages that most people pass through after losing something or someone important, or while navigating a life transition. In her work on death and dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross outlined five stages of grieving. These stages (with the exception of the first and last) are often fluid, moving from one to another in no order and often change from one to another over time.
Sometimes, we can get stuck in one stage. Or the moving between stages can seem confusing and exhausting. Healing isn’t a linear process, and it can be very helpful to have someone help you navigate such a turbulent time. This is exactly why we are both so passionate about providing our clients with Grief and Loss Support.
Shock and Denial - The first reaction to loss is often the inability to feel anything. This may include feeling numb, weak, overwhelmed, anxious, not yourself, or withdrawn.
Anger - Blaming yourself or others for the loss.
Bargaining - “If you’ll just let him live, I’ll promise to go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life.”
Depression - Feeling deep sadness, disturbed sleep and eating patterns, excessive crying, change in appetite, motivation, and interest in your usual activities.
Acceptance/Resolution - Beginning to look for the lessons of the experience.
What types of situations are Grief and Loss Support good for?
Some examples of significant losses are:
Loss of a person through death
Divorce
Job loss
Loss of your good health when you are diagnosed with a disease
Loss of a body part through accident or surgery
Loss of an ability, such as blindness
Loss of a friend who has moved
Loss of everything familiar when you move away
Each kind of loss affects each person in a different way, but the recovery process usually follows Kübler-Ross’s five stages.
Recovering from Loss: Some Key Points
1. You are responsible for your own grief process. No one can tell you how to grieve, and no one will do your grieving for you. It is hard work and you must manage the process by yourself. BUT - We can assist you through this time.
2. The grief process has a purpose. It is to help you learn to accept the reality of the loss and to learn from the experience.
3. Remind yourself that your grief will end. You will not feel like this forever. You will heal.
4. Take care of your health. Grief is extremely stressful, and it requires energy to manage the stress.
This is not a comprehensive list but can help you understand some of the elements that are important to the grieving process.
Can I just do this alone?
Yes, you can. We will never tell you that you can’t. What we can say is this is a difficult process. It isn’t uncommon for many people to reach out to us for counseling through this time. Some clients only come in for a few sessions while others want longer term support. It really depends on how much you want to work on your own or have some support while you go through it. Many people find having support helps them a great deal. We offer Grief and Loss Support in our Point Pleasant, NJ office and online. All you need to do is click the button below to contact us.